How to quench my tears?

I knew this day would come, everybody who has commented to me "Wow 10 years" "Wow 11 years" and "Wow 12 years" knew that this day would come.  I thought when this day came that I would be more accepting of the circle of life

I adopted Stu January 3, 2009.  He was the same age as Lily 10, I thought (rightly so) that they would make a beautiful bond. Tonight just after 9pm he left me for the rainbow bridge. 

I think, perhaps, if I relay this sad news, that while I type I will not cry....well I will not cry so hard.

This past week Stu was on what I have come to accept as "another hunger strike".  Stu will not eat for a day, I will freak out, make an appointment with Dr. Munn and then he will start eating again.  But truth be told each of these incidents have left him a little bit more drained.  Tuesday we went to the vet, got the usual diagnosis of GI stasis.  We were sent home with Critical Care until he started eating again, I already had Baytril for infection, and Metcam for pain, but got some Cicapride to get the GI tract moving. 

After a couple of rounds with Critical Care he gave in and started eating again. On Wednesday he ate almost all of his greens and more hay than he had in a long time.  There was still room for improvement but I was confident that he was on the mend. On Thursday I took him into the backyard.  Binky days were behind him but he was still pretty impressed with the fresh green grass.  This morning he seemed to be failing again, I gave him his meds and left for work.  At lunch time I came home to give him more meds and a belly rub.  He had not moved from where I had left him..and he was grinding his teeth, something that he has never done. It broke my heart to know that my bunny was in pain. 

I called the Animal Hospital and asked if I could get some additional pain meds...I asked for Tremadol cuz I had heard of other buns having it prescribed for pain.

I picked up the new meds after work and headed home and filled a syringe with Critical Care, another with water (laced with cranberry juice) Metcam, Tremadol, Cicipride, Baytril, and Ovol, determined to make my boy better.  He was so lethargic that he did not even struggle against the syringe, but he was too tired to swallow.  Many belly rubs finally got the first syringe of metcam fed.

I was realizing that he was reaching his end, and tried to get him to take the Tremadol.  I could inject it to his mouth but not make him swallow.  I knew that there was no way the line up of syringes were going to be used.  I just wanted him to take his pain meds and make him as comfortable as possible.

And so I stroked him and gave him kisses and let him know how loved he was, knowing that he was slipping away.  Instead of begging for Tremadol, I should have asked to send him to a painless sleep.

My head hurts, my chest hurts, my eyes hurt, and my nose is raw from crying.  I thought I was prepared for this enviable day but I was wrong, I am truly not ready for life without Stu.

Update on Project TNR

Today was a big day for the neighborhood kitties.  There was an doctors appointment made for them at the Toronto Humane Society to get them fixed. 

The problem with this appointment is that at this time yesterday all of the kitties were roaming the streets.  With the exception of Georgie  (who is mamma cat again to at least two kittens) I have not named any of the cats.  They are all grey and white to varying degrees and to be honest most of them look the same to me.

Pregnant Georgie refusing to be trapped.

I cant be sure how many there are to catch,  I think there are three "kittens" that are about 9 months old, Georgie and a sibling of hers and now the real kittens.

Between my next door neighbor and me, we have two carriers and 1 trap and 5 cats that have learned to distrust the trap. With optimism in our hearts we took in our food bowls to prepare kitties for surgery and set the cat trap, laced with a sardine and catnip....low and behold starving kitties showed up.  Snap went the trap

See what I mean, this kitty looks alot like Georgie.

Up the stairs I go with my cat trap,  I released kitty and reset the trap.  For the next three hours keeping watch while the three remaining kitties circle the trap, stiff the catnip, and continue to sniff.  After a couple of hours they are checking out the carrier too.  I gingerly leave my post behind closed door and throw a few bits of kibble to the back of the carrier and alas Kittie dives in after them, trying to slam the door shut was unsuccessful but I was able to grab hole and none to kindly throw kitty into the carrier....and take Kittie with carrier to join its sibling.  Third Kittie takes off like a bat out of hell and I did not see again for the rest of the night. 

This one is referred to as the white one because its more white than gray

This morning at what seems like the crack of dawn, the phone rings telling me it is time to take the kitties to meet their fate AND that she had caught Kittie in the trap before calling it a night.  Stupid me let kitties out of carrier hoping they would comport one another before going to bed and now have to get them back in the carriers...and we get a call saying that we are late for our appointment.  Me and two kitties in a tiny bedroom reenact bloody war scene from Saving Private Ryan.  Then end up in the carriers and I hurry them downstairs where the third cat in the carrier are waiting in the backseat. Towel wrapped around by bloody hand we head down to the Humane Society to check the kitties in for their day surgery.

While neighbor is filling out the paperwork I tend to my wounds, my hand is swollen and the bites feel like they have stopped at the bone.  I call my Dr. Office/walk in clinic to check when I had my last tetanus shot and they tell me they don't have one on file.  Hummm I look down and decide it is probably time to update that status.

My neighbor has been scratched too so she comes with me to the walk in clinic, where there is a 11/2 hour wait to see the Dr. Once I'm in and my file is opened I am reminded that 20ish years ago when I had my last shot I had a reaction (a rash) so I was going to have to wait in the waiting room full of sick people for 1/2 hour before I could leave.

Now afternoon I gotta stop for a coffee and a bagel. get home feed Sooty and Stu and settle in for a nap.  I have barely fallen asleep when the phone is ringing that the Kitties are ready for pickup.

Then I have to head to the drugstore for antibiotics, Yippiee.

I'm tired and weary, sore hand, bruised shoulder where the tetanus shot was given, but feeling very satisfied to have three female cats locked up and recovering upstairs, off the streets for the next 10 days, until they are released to the next chapter of their lives.



One of my Favorite Twitter Families

There once was a fellow called Pooh

Who Twitter with all its charms, could not woo
It was Moose and Buddy
That he wanted to cuddle
So he asked that they ignore twitter too.

A great cuddler was our hero Pooh
So what were Moose and Buddy to do

They said goodnight to their friends

Promised to tweet again
When the quality fam time was thru.

Project TNR is in effect.

This kitten did not stay with us till winter.
But the other three have survived as feral cats.

Our feral cats are all grey and white, I have a hard time differentiate some of them.




My next door neighbor has registered our cats as a feral colony.  She has completed the training session and is now eligible to Trap, Neuter, and Release the members of the colony.  Our secret desire is that once the cats spend time indoors (post trap and post Neuter) they will come to appreciate the indoor life and become adoptable.  But if rehab does not work at least we know that their life on the streets will be fated to only the current generation.Unfortunately the mission has been escalated by the big belly of one of our kitties.  She is going to have to receive a procedure before there are more kitties. 

The trap arrived...we set it up on my front porch step.  Laced with Tuna and Catnip the whole colony showed up.  A couple of them are friendly enough with my neighbor that she can pet them but they will not let me touch them.  Being as my presence was keeping them at arms length I went inside, keeping an eye on the trap.  We didn't want to trap one of the other cats and have them develop a fear of the trap.  Their spaying/neuter appointments are not for a couple more weeks.  But as fate would have it these were the ones who were checking out the trap and trying to figure it out,  Ms. Preggo was nowhere in sight  We decided to move the trap to my backyard Ms Preggo  frequent that area more often than the others.

At around 10PM I looked out the back door, the reflection in the glass made it hard to be sure but I thought Ms Preggo was in the trap, I opened the back door and Ms. Preggo bolted out of the trap.  I'm not sure if she does not weigh enough to set of the spring or if she had not been all the way inside. 

I went back inside and at about 1AM as I was about to go to bed I checked the trap for the last time before taking it in (we don't want to leave a cat trapped overnight).  The trap had worked, hissing and spitting was a big grey and white cat.  This handsome fellow I am pretty sure belongs to a neighbor.  Although he has not collar he is a well groomed longhair which is unlikely to be a feral...and for sure not Ms Preggo.  So I released him.

The next night was pouring rain, I had not witnessed any visits to the trap all evening, before going to bed I took the trap in and returned it to my neighbor in the morning.  It was then that we noticed that the Tuna was gone....she thinks a squirrel ate the tuna, I am having concerns about this trap.  We will keep on trying.

I hope my tiny winy little wish to see a litter of wobbly baby kittens has not been picked up by the gods and acted upon.

The Bonded Buns The Love Story of Lily and Mister

When Lily first came to live with me, we had a little ritual where I would lay on the floor, face down, and she would hop up onto my back and give me an exotic bunny back massage, then she would lay down for a few minutes.  It was a wonderful experience and I swear it relieved all to the tedium and stress from my system.  She loved have her nose and cheeks rubbed.  When I got home from work in the summer I would take her into the backyard where she would binky like crazy, dig like crazy and occasionally manage to escape to the neighbors yard (which make me crazy). And of course there was the evening ritual that amused my neighbors the most catching her to bring her back into the house. 

As much as having a sweet little Lily leap with joy when I entered a room, I always felt that this Sweet little girl had more love to give than spending a couple of hours a day with me could use up.  She constantly attempted to befriend Sooty and Cleopatra but they ignored her.  By this time I had educated myself on the nature of bunnies and believed that it would be a good idea of selecting a mate for her. 

As luck would have it the same PetSmart that had Posted Lily as being "Free to a Good Home" a year and a half later had another such posting.  I called the number and arranged to meet the male rabbit "Misty".    When I asked if he was "altered" I was told that he was not, but that he had never shown any inclination to acknowledge his "nature".  As Lily by this time had been spayed for over a year I knew that there was no chance of my becoming a BunnyGrandmummy, so I packed "Misty" into the backseat and headed home, going over in my head all that I had read about bonding rabbits....keep them in a separate room for a few days, don't leave them alone together, be prepared for fights, I was a little bit trepidation about what the next few weeks were going to be like. 

Lily was a free range rabbit, so I could not follow the advice of the experts and keep them is separate cages.  I put Misty in a cage and set it in the living room as I installed the baby gate between rooms.  Before I could turn around Lily had come to inspect Misty, as neither one of them were showing any signs of aggression I let them be.  Lily circled the cage and Misty kept turning to see her.  They seemed interested and curious about one another but not aggressive.  I took Misty out of the cage and the behaviour continued with the circling of one another and the curiosity but no aggression....until Misty got on top of Lily (sideways I might add) and began to show his "nature".  Lily was mildly perturbed, I was a bit embarrassed (I'm not sure if it was because of what he was doing or the fact that he was doing it sideways and backwards) but I decided that "Misty" was in fact "Mister".  Lily decided that he was dirty and needed to be bathed.  I have no doubt that Mister thought he had landed in heaven.  They spent days with Mister in his cage for about a couple of weeks (which included Misters recovery from the surgery that was booked the day after his arrival).

Lily and Mister had 6 very happy years together.  On July 8, 2008 Mister moved on to the rainbow bridge.

Another Bullet Dodged

Living with Stu is a delight.  Living with a senior bunny is not always a delight.  There are good days and there are bad days.

Saturday was a good day.  Stu was chasing me around the house looking for love, circling my feet, eating, drinking, peeing, pooping.  When I was making his dinner on Sunday evening I noticed he had barely touched the previous days food,  There had been no circling my feet that day, in fact I don't think he came out from behind the Lazy Boy all day.  When I made up his evening treat of mashed banana with flax and glucocimine he had no interest him.  I had to lift him from behind the Lazy Boy chair to change his ruggies and vacuum.

You can clean all you want but I am not coming out

On Monday I came home from work at lunchtime with some carrots and carrot tops for him....he still had not made a dent on his food bowl.  He nibbled at the carrot with little interest.  When I came home last night he had made no further progress.  He had moved his position behind the Lazy Boy but aside from that was pretty much the way I had left him that morning. 

Mushed nana, Metcalm were no interest to him.  I tried to get some water by cupping water soaked crasins,  it worked for about a tablespoon.  I pulled down some blankets and pillows and forsook my princess bed to sleep on the floor next to him last night.  As soon as the vets office opened I called and made an appointment.  Called in to work with a headache.  As if hearing what was being discussed, he picked up a  piece of swisschard and downed it then went to work on a carrot.  He took some water, his meds...as if to convince me he did not have to go to the vet.  I was having none of it.

During his two days behind the Lazy Boy Stu made a poopy bum (which I guess is better news than him not making poop).  His weight is down .2 kg from 2.09 to 1.9 kg. He was dehydrated.  He got hydrated, a package of Critical Care (until he gets back to pellets and hay) and a cream cuz the poopy bum is getting dry from baths and urine scald .  They took a urine sample, and some blood work to see if there is an underlying issue.

Im eating Im eating I dont need to go to the vet

I will be keeping a close eye on him for the nest couple of days.  I have to go away Friday night.  Usually my brother comes in and feeds Stu when I have to leave but I think I will leave him with Dr. Munn. 

Now that the trauma is winding down there has been some leaky eyes. Times like this make it all to clear to me that my time with Stu is limited. But for the moment I am feeling like we have dodged a bullet.

Valentines Day is Comming

When I was a child we exchanged Valentines cards at school.  Things are probably the same today, but I don't have a child so I cannot be sure.  Before Valentines day I would bring a list home that had the names of all of my classmates.  I would be made to sit at the kitchen table and write the name of each of the children's names int the TO: space on one of the cards ripped apart at the perforation point.  There was no telling Mom that I hated so and so and did not want to give them a card.  I would give one to each child and one to the teacher.  My only recourse was to pick the ugliest card and give it to the kid I did not like....Porky the Pig, Uglyy Monkey, the People of Scooby Doo.  The prettiest card went to my best friend and all others fell in between, but Mom would check the list to make sure that there was one for everyone To Donna M From Donna H, To Donna A From Donna H, To Kim M from Donna H, To Kim P From Donna H, to Mary From Donna H......Donna and Kim were the popular names the year I was born.

The sugar rush would have been supplied by Moms....although in retrospect we never took that into account....the cupcakes and cookies and rice krispy squares magically appeared as most mother supplied things do. 

These days Donna M, Donna A, Kim P and Him M are likely receiving valentines cards from Husbands and kids.  Being as Donna H is not, I carry on the tradition.  I perforate a box of 48 valentines day cards and decide who in my office is getting the Baby Cub or the Fawn.  I have to admit that the few people in my office that I really and truly do not like I don't include on my list. But the ones who are on the fence are given an ugly monkey.