Sooty...the ONLY Cat

This week was back to work after a week off. The week off was spent cocooning, licking the wound of my broken heart so to speak. But Monday morning it was Hi Ho Hi Ho off to work I go.
Comming home from work was actually something that I was not looking forward to. I knew that when I opened the front door there would be no front paws dangling over the top stair and no tub of Love at the top of the stairs waiting for me.

"But" you say "you have Sooty to comfort you".

"Pfft" says I "Sooty and Cleo never liked each other" Cleo was the Queen and Sooty was the snotty subservant cat, with me serving as slave to them both. These days I do notice Sooty seems to miss being swatted when she reached the top of the stairs or jumps up onto the bed" . She seems nervous like she still expects the swat.

Let me tell you about Life with Sooty now that she is the ONLY cat....AKA the new Queen.

I arrive home this evening somewhat late cause I went shopping after work. My bladder is full so I rush upstairs to empty it. All the while Sooty is chasing me in an attempt to tell me about her her her.

As my bladder is empting she is reminding me in LOUD VOCAL TONES "I have a full bladder too"

"There is a litter box in the basement for you, the litter box that was upstairs was for Cleo"

"MEOW MEOW MEOW" (THE CAPS DOES NOT DO JUSTICE TO THE LOUDNESS) translation "I dont want to use the litter box in the basement, I want Cleos litter box and I want it HERE and I want it NOW"

"Listen, this is a one cat house now, so only one litter box should be required. I tolerated you two refusing to use the same litter box but now you are the only cat and the litter box in the basement is all yours"

"MEOW MEOW MEOW" (again THE CAPS DOES NOT DO JUSTICE TO THE LOUDNESS) translation "I dont want to use the litter box in the basement, I want Cleos litter box and I want it HERE and I want it NOW IF I DONT GET IT I AM GOING TO POOP ON YOUR FLOOR"

By this time I have finished attending to my personal call of nature and flush. Years ago before they wore me down Cleo and Sooty both used the toilet and to this day the flush of a toilet is like opening the floodgates with Sooty. "If you really need to go use the toilet" I say "you know how"

Now she really does need to go. Maybe she was being a drama queen before maybe not. "I NEED THAT LITTER BOX AND I NEED IT NOW"

"Hop up, I know you can"

"YOU ARE A WRETCHED PERSON, THE DEMONS OF HELL ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO YOU. GIVE ME MY LITTERBOX!!!"

"Cummon you are a smart kitty, I know you can do it"

"SATANS SPAWN, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND MEOW TALK.....LITTER BOX....HERE....NOW....I AM ABOUT TO EXPLODE.....HELP ME! HELP ME! IM DYING!"

"Sooty hop up, I know you can, I know you want to, If you really need to go then use the toilet"

"I HATE YOU" she meows as she jumps up on the toilet.....and starts to dig....at the water......(I am remembering how they broke me down all those years ago)

"Sooty, you dont have to dig. Just go"

She positions herself......changes her mind and digs some more.

I am trying to be calm and reassuring as I encourage her but she is splashing toilet water all over the bathroom. "You can do it honey, your a smart cat, but you dont have to dig".

She positions herself again, but now her paws are wet and she slips off the the toilet. At least she is quiet. I stifle a snicker (well almost), she ignores me and hops back up. She is digging some more, more toilet water everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, all over the toilet seat.

Outside the bathroom door I am filling the litterbox with litter. Hearing the sound of kitty litter filling the box she hops off the toilet and jumps into the box. While she is doing her duty, I am doing mine. Cleaning up the mess she made in the bathroom. Once finished I scoop the mess she made in the litterbox.

"MEOW MEOW MEOW" translation " hurry up there is only leftover kibble in my food bowl and I am STARVING TO DEATH"