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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I built a bridge to the rainbow bridge....for Mister with love



Today I was asked on twitter if I had ever had to make the ultimate choice for a pet. The answer is yes. I cant express in 140 characters the gut wrenching that that decision evokes.  I realize that I have eluded to it but never explained the story of Mister. And I think the reason that I have never told the story is because a part of me has doubt about the decision that I made.

In May 2008 I noticed that Mister seemed to be having trouble with one of his hind paws. I had made the mistake of bringing him up onto the couch to snuggle with me, in spite of being aware of the "snuggles on the floor" bunny rule.  Mister promptly hopped down and I thought that was when and where the issue began.  I gave it some time, in all ways he was my normal Mister. Demanding love from me and Lily, eating with vigor. Except for a little limp nothing was awry. But remembering the hop from the couch and having every bun Mums fear of dislocation living in the back of my imagination I decided to make an appt with the vet. 

When I explained to the nearby vet that I was concerned about joints or dislocation they admitted that they did not feel comfortable treating him and recommended that I seek out a clinic with more experience with rabbits, and provided a few contact.  I did a bit of research and decided that the High Park animal Hospital.  although it was on the other side of town they had extensive rabbit knowledge and the facilities to run tests on site.

I relinquished Mister to the Dr. for x-rays and waited patiently, expecting to be told that I was an overprotective bunny Mummy and that would be $$$ Please. I think the vet was expecting to say exactly the same thing.  He came back with Mister under one arm and the x-rays in another.  He popped the x-rays on the screen and began examining, explaining to me what he was reviewing. when he looked at the white area of the leg in question he assured me that there was no break or dislocation but admitted that the discolouration looked like bone cancer.  he apologised for not having looked at the x-rays as my knees gave out and I started sobbing.

Follow up tests confirmed this diagnosis. i pulled myself together and faced what had to be done.  The cancer would spread unless the leg was amputated.  all of the stories that I found of bunnies living with 3 legs were positive. I set a date for the surgery and began preparing myself to help Mister with his transition.  I read all that I could find on tri-pod bunnies. 

The surgery was a success. the surgeon did his job.  the transition for Mister was a total failure. day after day, week after week Morning Noon and Night. Mister was totally lethargic.  I force fed him, Lily cleaned the critical care from his whiskers.  He appreciated her care, and mine, but aside from that he had no interest in living or learning to hop on 3 legs.  My attempts to encourage him felt like torture.

Perhaps if I had of left him to live out his life I would have had more time with him. And his end would have been less stressful.  I am grateful that when I took him back to the hospital for the last time, they let me stay with him till he fell into his final sleep. 

I will always question my decisions, both to proceed with the surgery and to put him to sleep.  but the doubts are small born from a desire to have had him in my world longer. 

I built a bridge to the rainbow bridge and when I arrive there Mister will be the first of my rainbow loves to greet me.



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