Fighting the feeling of a curse

With the hope that posting about the series of bad luck would purge the curse I moved forward after my last post with the intent of moving upward and onward from the dark cloud that I have been living under for the past few weeks.

I was away from home on Saturday night but came home Sunday morning to find one of the backyard kitties, Sooty, and the local Cardinal all showing their own personal disapproval of the empty food dispenser.  After meeting their demands I carried on with my day which I intended to include going for a run and packing my gym bag for Monday.  The priority was to get on top of my yard work. Pull some weeds and fill my two new planters with Rosemary and Marigolds in the hope of protecting my mosquito bait hide.

The plans started to come off the rails when, while pulling the weeds threatening to choke the lavender I noticed the rear passenger tire of the car was flat flat flat.  I dialed CAA to put on the donut with the intention of going to Walmart to buy a new set of tires when I have been making a concentrated effort to stop abusing my credit card.  My distress turned to euphoria when the CAA guy told me that I had a nail in my tire that could be plugged.

But my euphoria would be short lived.  While pulling weeds I noticed one of the new kittens under the step of my back deck.  for a brief second I was thrilled that it was not running from me until I realised that it was not moving.  I don't mean to sound melodramatic but I have put allot of faith in the future of these kittens to restore my ability to appreciate what the world offers up on a daily basis.  This felt like a kick in the teeth.  The poor little creature was dead.  Last week was very hot here but this past week was actually unseasonably cool so it was not heat stroke, there was no sign of any sort of trauma on the kitten.  Absolutely without intent my mind went to the neighbors who want the cats and kittens gone, and I wondered if one of them has put out poison.  I hope it was grief and paranoia that took my mind to such a dark place so quickly.  But for the whole day I seen nothing of the other kittens and I worried about their well being.

Tire repaired I went to the garden centre to get my Marigolds and Rosemary and actually came home with more lavender.  My heart almost leaped out of my chest to find on my doorstep hungry kittens. 

I will do what I can to keep them safe, and if I am blessed they will change from backyard kittens to indoor kittens....if I am blessed.