Reviewing my Posts

I really don't write here as often as I thought I would, I am determined not to use this forum as a place to bitch about the people, or circumstances in life that piss me off...so...I really don't write here as often as I thought I would.

Lately I have been intending to find some time to write about Fathers day.  Its next weekend, I always found picking an appropriate Fathers Day card difficult.  But then I realized that I had already written a post about that.

I have written posts about missing my father, who I love with all of my heart in spite of our non traditional father/daughter relationship.  I have written posts about the heartbreak of loosing Mister, of having to realize that my determination and love were not enough to make his life meaningful.  I cant believe that on July 9 it will be three years he has been gone. I have written of Lily, the sweetest bunny ever who was the doting mate to Mister and then later to Stu. Who days after surgery to remove a stone had her little heart give out in the middle of the night June 22 two years ago.  That was the first year that I didn't have a father to call. I recall a friend attempting to console my fears for her health telling me that nursing her post op would distract me from my loneliness. Then of course it was March 31st last year that Cleo left me for the rainbow bridge, and last month Stu, both who had lived long and happy lives and yet left me heartbroken and devastated.

We know when we take a four footed creature into our lives that in all likelihood we will outlive them but that knowledge does not prepare you for the heartbreak when they leave. While blubbering on a shoulder over the loss of Stu, I jested that I should be an expert at dealing with loss my now. Which of course is not true. There are no experts. Yet for all the heartache and tears it is totally worth the love that I still feel in my heart when I think of Mister grunting for headrubs and pushing Lily out of the way, and of Lily giving kisses, and waiting for pets before giving her man a good bath to wash the human smell off of him, of Cleo in the backyard who would sit patiently basking in all of her blubbery glory in a sunpool until she seen me watching her, and then she would come running to me, waddle swaying looking for pets and kisses, and of Stu who was as different from Mister as two boy buns can be.  He was so polite and well mannered as much as he enjoyed being petted and being fed, he would never never rush to food bowl before it was set down....the only exception being crasins, which would make him positively quiver.

I will continue to love Sooty, she has nobody to be jealous of anymore.  She has moved into Cleos spot at the foot of my bed and expects to be petted the minute that she realizes that I am awake.  Some nights she reverts to her old habits and sleeps downstairs (where she had to sleep in Cleo days) and I find I don't like waking up without her. 

The backyard kitties continue to come around, the task of trapping and fixing them will carry on. The warm weather will hopefully inspire me to go running more that I have been the past couple of weeks, The backyard has begun to beckon, there will be beers and feets planted in cool green grass after the aforementioned runs.  Summer festival season is about to begin, so there will be things to write about that don't come with tears and heartache.